To Be In Reality Stop Fantasizing

“People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they’re all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error.” Florence King

Why Do We Fantasize

I think it is safe to say that many of us live in a world of fantasy. We use entertainment as a way to escape and fantasize; obviously we receive pleasure from it.

Let’s briefly go into why we fantasize and the implications it has on our lives. You need to have an incredibly sensitive mind so that you can observe that you are always adding or deleting something, which is to constantly fantasize.

Constantly fantasizing leads to a corrupt mind, a mind that is disorderly and always in conflict. Whenever you mother your fantasies whether they are sexual, spiritual, material, financial, emotional, relational, it causes you to lust after them, to fight and struggle with them.

Anything you see is because of the fantasies you mother, if you learn to drop your fantasies you will see something as it truly is. What causes us to fantasize? If you go into it deeply, you will see that your greed and fear is responsible. Greed and fear are usually the causes behind how most people react to life.

Don’t just read this and accept it, go into it your self, investigate it. Most never go into it deeply; never understand why they are greedy, why they are fearful, where does fear arise from? Why does it arise? I will go deeper into the nature of fear in another post, but this something that each of us needs to go into on our own.

Learn To See and Achieve Complete Freedom

If you are able to see something clearly, it it’s entirety, it will end conflict. So then the question becomes how do we learn to see ourselves and the world clearly, free of our conditioning and prejudices, is it even possible? I go into this briefly in my post, “Stuck In The Middle: Living In The Land of Observation“, and “How To See The World With New Eyes“, which hopefully can assist you in understanding why we fantasize.

Fantasizing leads one to always have certain expectations; it gives continuity to our experiences of pleasure and pain. You will come to see that anything that happens because of fantasizing is not worth happening.

To fantasize means to always label something in your environment, to not label is to see something with a childlike quality, free of prejudices. Without fantasying you become stress free because you don’t carry nearly as much emotional baggage in your memories.

When you are extremely attentive and aware you will see that you do not create an image in your mind, you don’t fantasize about what your are observing. You are simply there seeing what is, just a state of pure being. You are whole because you are not separating your self from it.

Whenever you see something through the image you create, you create space, you create a division within yourself. This division causes you to be fragmented, to be fragmented is to be in conflict, your understanding is never complete.

Just observe your sexual fantasies, they are never as fulfilling as the actual act, because it creates space, it removes you from reality. They keep you from being present in the act, which is a purely physical act.

Even in the act you are not present, you are adding your own juice to it, you are trying to create an image (memory) for later. But if you dropped your fantasy, were present, you would have an experience that is incredibly physically intense; you would experience what actually “is”. But we don’t want to experience what “is” we want to create a memory because we are unsure when we will have the experience again.

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”- Aristotle

If you really observe the movement of your sexual desires, you will see that your sexual energy is the most powerful energy you posses because it has the power to move you, to take action.

When you learn to drop your sexual fantasies you will see your energy return to its normal state, and therefore be available for when action is needed in your everyday life. Yet most of us constantly waste our energy in fantasizing, and then when a situation presents itself we do not have the energy to be aware and be present.

It requires great energy to have a sensitive awake mind, once you experience this you will see how important it is to stop fantasizing.

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19 Responses to To Be In Reality Stop Fantasizing

  1. wow! it’s like i got slapped in the face… but you’re definitely right, fantasizing is like living in future thoughts, something that keeps you away from the present…

    but what if you’re fantasizing to motivate yourself, like you’re imagining something good out of what you’re about to do, is it still bad?
    .-= flip´s last blog ..The Philippines’ Hidden Gem =-.

  2. I love your posts and have been reading them for many months, but I think this is the first one that talks a bit one sided at the end. Seems like you’re mostly addressing guys with that sexual energy thing..

  3. First of all, I find you to be a remarkably insightful young man, and I wish you much success in your quest. I also would like to thank you for your very enjoyable posts.

    I am writing to suggest you also widen your research to include the concept of narratives. Fantasy has negative, unrealistic connotations, while narrative is either more neutral or positive. We all need fantasy/narrative to define our lives and the world we see unforlding around us. However, as you point out, fantasies/narratives ultimately are illusions. For many, a part of training is coming to terms with how everything is fantasy/narrative and how we need yet must let go of all illusions.

    I discuss the concept of narrative in detail in a couple of posts on my blog, but I am no expert. You will find plenty of more insightful readings in articles written by scholarly experts on the subject.

    All the best,
    .-= Rui Umezawa´s last blog ..Keeping Optimism Real with the Dalai Lama =-.

  4. thanks I appreciate you coming back to the site…I did not intent to make it one sided…I am sorry if thats how it came out…It applies to both sexes :)…maybe you could shed some light from a womans perspective :)…hope all is well…@Sabine:

  5. thanks so much for your great feedback…I will def. look into it…once again thank…I really appreciate you taking the time to read the post and comment on it….be well..namaste@Rui Umezawa:

  6. Here’s something written by Lao-Tzu, that I kept after reading it awhile back called “Reason’s Realisation”.Spellings are direct from the book. I believe it relates to what you’ve written in the sense that it talks about desire and how wanting more can not fulfill one’s spirit.

    The reason that can be reasoned is not the eternal Reason.
    The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.
    The Unnameable is of heaven and earth the beginning.
    The Nameable becomes of the ten thousand things the mother,
    Therefore it is said:

    He who desireless is found
    The spiritual of the world will sound.
    But he who by desire is bound
    Sees the mere shell of things around.

    These two things are the same in source
    But different in name.
    Their sameness is called a mystery.
    Indeed, it is the mystery of mysteries.

    It is the door of all spirituality
    .-= Greg´s last blog ..Sunset approaches and a coyote just snuck across the road about… =-.

  7. Interesting article, but I have a contrary outlook.

    I believe fantasizing can be extremely healthy and helpful. Many adults fall into the trap of not consciously directing their thoughts. They may fantasize in a negative way by focusing on what they wish they had, thus creating a more lackful life experience.

    But when you are in control of your imagination and you realize your creative powers, you can think, imagine, and fantasize your way into the reality of your dreams.
    .-= Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last blog ..Peer Pressure and Conformity: Do You Fear Standing Out from the Crowd? =-.

  8. Great article. An old rough man who ran a restaurant said this in a TV show: The number one priority of life of person is to figure out that we are just a sack of crap. This sounds rough but it did mean a lot. Our fantasy makes us feel like we are so important. Actually, once we get rid of that fantasy and think we are nothing but a common person, we will be much more humble and we can achieve a lot more.

  9. Interesting article and I agree that living in a fantasy world is not a good thing, but I also believe that fantasising and visualising are two totally different things – visualising is an absolutely brilliant tool for achieving our goals and is so powerful that it is used by almost all top athletes as part of their training programmes. I use it all the time with my clients and it gets results!

    Fantasising is saying unrealistic stuff like ‘I am going to marry Pamela Andersen’.

    Don’t make the mistake of stifling your imagination and losing this very powerful goal-achieving tool. Visualise your goals for a few minutes each day and watch them come to life.


  10. Hey there…
    I had been looking for an article on this topic for a long time.Actually,I have been fantasizing for years.It is so difficult to achieve something in the real world but with fantasizing I can let all my dreams come true within minutes.No surprises I love doing it.I have tried not to do it but whenever I try,I realize that I have nothing better to do so I switch to fantasizing to pass my time.I have created an alternate world of my own although it is a secret with me.If somebody else gets to know of this they will consider me “mad”.
    Please Ivan,I need your help.

  11. Wow I’m so glad I found this post it was informative. I ve been dealing with this for a while. I fantasize another life. I can do it for hours. I feel like I’m missing out on what is in my life that is real. This post gave me clarity on a lot of things and the comments thanks

  12. Normally I just pass websites like these by; this time I’m going to give my 2 cents on things. Do with my idea’s whatever you want, I’m not here to convince anyone that I’m right. This is my perspective and I hope the owner of this website allows my comment to be on his site.

    The first question I ask myself is: Where do idea’s towards a better world come from? A picture is drawn in the mind before executed in ‘real life’. Without fantasy other things than what you have seen or experienced cannot be created, which means you will have a very limitted catalogue to choose from. Many spiritual teachings say that before anything material is created, it starts off as a thought. In the next step you choose to pursue that thought or let it be. Assuming that this is the case, fantasy (i.e. the means to create new thoughts and images) is the key to unlimited power. Yet again – and I know I’m repeating myself – without fantasy you cannot think further than the things already mprinted on you. Without fantasy you can only imagine as far as your experiences and thinking mind allows you, and that is very limitted. Many teachings regarding the law of attraction actually require you to fantasize. They say that a thought plus an emotion creates a feeling and puts you in the right frame of mind to be able to receive whatever it is you would like to attract.

    Even though I do not deny the importance of Being and accepting what Is, we do have the freedom to create and to do that it requires creativity and fantasy.

    Lastly, what entertainment does – in my opinion – is rid us of creativity and fantasy. It fills in the blanks for us. As kids you could give anyone a blank piece of paper and worlds would be created with a simple pencil. Yet, on an older age, many people are satisfied with what the media hands to them and this is how the creative mind gets lazy and how it gets more and more difficult to fantasize.

    Thank you for reading.

    • hello there

      I just went through your stuff and its really fascinating and i would like you to assist me get rid of my fantasy world. I have had a problem of fantasizing for a while now and it’s rapidly becoming my worst enemy. It is negatively affecting me in real life, especially academically. I would really love your help.

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