How Learning To Really Listen Can End Your Suffering

My wife working at her clinic.

“The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.” – Richard Moss

I think it is safe to say that all of us at some point strove to lead deeply fulfilling lives. But when you look around you it feels as if many of us are leading lives of silent desperation. Through various circumstances all the things we wanted to do slowly fade away as we lose our enthusiasm for life and we learn to just get by.

So how can you become more involved with life, with your surroundings? Well, an easy way is by putting all your energy into alert listening. Yes, the simple act of listening can be a gateway to a deeper interaction with the world. This type of listening requires that you have a quiet and still mind. Being able to direct your attention while keeping it free from becoming identified to some inner or outer object.

Not letting your thinking process get in-between you and the direct perception of listening. Typically when we listen we let our thought process filter everything through our past experiences. We may be listening to a story our friend is telling us, but our minds immediately become occupied with trying to formulate a response to whatever is being said, or just simply go off on a tangent. This isn’t really listening, this is hearing a person talk and the real meaning simply goes over our heads because we aren’t really present. If we really learn to listen we can get the complete meaning the first time.

The more intense your listening is, the more empowered you will feel inside. Feeling intensely alive, you feel complete unto yourself, as a result you will not be chasing simple superficial pleasures.

Anything that we depend on and chase after outside of ourselves causes us to feel powerless.

As you get more involved with life you will feel an incredible sense of fulfillment.

When you learn how to really listen, you will also automatically be in a better position to speak directly into a person. A persons inward experience is transferred out into the world through sound vibrations. So you will catch everything they say beyond the actual words they use by letting it come into your own being unfiltered and then be able to consciously respond in a way that will touch them deeply. If you are speaking to a small group each person may feel as if you are speaking directly to them.

What’s usually the number one complaint  we hear from woman in relationships? That their man doesn’t really listen to them, so the net effect is he doesn’t understand her at a deep level. By really listening to someone with a still mind you become open and invite them into your own inner world which will allow you to understand them better from their own context.

How Can You Improve Your Listening Skills?

Try this experiment: when you are speaking, learn to listen to your own tone of voice as if you were really listening to someone else. In listening to your own voice, you do not change it, but it changes, it comes closer to the truth and will give a more truthful report of your thoughts. If you really try this you will realize that most of the time we are only half-conscious of the words that come out of our own mouth.

Learning to pay attention to your own voice all the time will make you conscious of all its subtle aspects. This will automatically change the quality of your speech, your words will be sweeter, more eloquent, more appropriate to the situation, simply because it becomes a conscious way of speaking, and it all starts by authentic listening. This type of listening puts you in a state that is alert and open to the world. You become more present and aware of the moment. It’s such a simple technique that we miss it.

The more you learn to really listen to others, the more you will also develop the patience to listen yourself. This will put you in a position to help you solve your own personal problems. Learning to really listen to others, to the environment, will allow you to really listen to yourself. This will give you insight and a more balanced look into your inner world. Then slowly you will learn to know what’s happening inside and outside simultaneously.

How Do You Know If You are Really Listening?

Just by noticing how you feel after you been listening. If you were really listening you will feel more open and alive. If you feel bored or tired, tune out, look ahead of this moment, then you know you are not in a state of active alert listening.

The world is always trying to wake you up…the question is, are you listening?

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