“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe
Making Your Dreams Into Reality
In life, there is a thin line between success and failure, and often times our established ways of thinking will be the main determiner of which one we end up with.
Your thinking makes you or breaks you. Simple as that, but not so simple to really realize the significance of it.
The way you think is no accident, it is happening with your voluntary involvement, although you may not consciously notice it. Unfortunately, many of us always think that our thought process is accidental and that we can’t control our minds. All our previous attempts at controlling our minds have failed, and so this leads us to believe that it is uncontrollable.
Just as our bodies’ movements are under our control, the movement of our minds can also come under our control with the right understanding and disciplined efforts.
We need to realize that our thinking can be trained as we want. We don’t need to fall victim to our previous thinking patterns that have caused us to have low self-esteem, or to feel that this is our fate, and we can’t do anything about it.
Day Dreaming Our Day Away
What do our daydreams say about us? Our dreams are nothing but a reminder that our constant thinking of how we want things to be, and how things currently are, are in opposite directions. Dreams are simply complications between what you want to be and what you actually are.
This just leads us to waste a tremendous amount of energy in entertaining many illusions instead of taking productive actions that would bridge that gap.
The first thing you need to realize is that, how you want to be, is possible.
The second thing is that your thinking can be changed, it is not something that is set in stone. If you think that this is your fate, then you are just giving yourself a clever way of giving up on yourself.
You need to sit down and sincerely think about what type of person you would like to be and the type of life you would like to lead.
Whatever trains of thought are in alignment with your vision, you need to encourage them, nurture them, and mother them. Whatever is not in alignment, let it go, don’t let any of the self-doubt cling to you. It is possible to be what you want to be if it is coming from an authentic place. Every moment be aware of where you place your attention, because whatever you place your attention on grows.
You need to dig deep and declare responsibility for your actions. Don’t be afraid of feeling the feeling of being responsible. Many times our imaginations take off and we imagine a thousand and one scenarios on how our world will collapse if we go after the life we really want. These imaginings stop us in our tracks, and the feeling of responsibility is not allowed to grow within us.
Things in the past year have changed for me because I am now a married man. In the past, I was not afraid to fall down in going after the things I wanted, and I took full responsibility for my actions. But now that I am married, I am in a new space that I have not been in before, and I am slowly learning how to combine the two worlds.
Next year me and my wife will be embarking on a new adventure. We will be moving to the Philippines to work on our projects and enjoy our time together. It is incredibly exciting, but I have also begun to feel a little tension as I feel an extra sense of responsibility that I cannot fail, because now I am not only responsible for myself, but also for my wife’s future.
If we allow this feeling of responsibility to grow, it begins to accumulate the energy needed to move us. It has become emotional, or as I like to say, energy in motion. Many of the imaginary problems will start to disappear; don’t entertain worthless mental imagery.
Let this feeling of responsibility blend and be in sync with all your actions. As your responsibility grows, your power grows. This power is responsible for all the great things that humanity has created.
How To Take Control of Your Thinking
Below is a little daily ritual that anyone can practice, that in the long run it will yield some amazing results to help you change your life. If it appears easy to you, don’t let it fool you, it is incredibly hard for most people, and the benefits may not be apparent right away, but don’t give up it can change the very foundation of how you perceive the world.
1. Thought control: This is just learning to notice what thoughts you have in your inner space. Learning to watch your mind without judgment. Each time you become identified with a thought, gently bring yourself back to just being a detached silent witness. You will be amazed at the amount and the sheer randomness of all the thoughts that come across your mind’s eye. Pick a quiet place with a comfortable place to sit where you will not be disturbed. Taking 5-10 minutes every day, once in the morning and once in the evening is ideal, but also try to be observant as much as you can throughout your whole day.
2. Thought Discipline: Once you have learned to notice the content of your mind more objectively, you will start to see its tendencies and reoccurring thought patterns. Now that you have gotten clear on what type of person you want to be, how do your current thinking patterns mesh with that vision? What is in direct opposition to your goals? Now your goal is to identify a specific thought that is sabotaging you and learn to not entertain it. As soon as you catch yourself entertaining counterproductive thoughts, gently place your attention on something else that is positive or at least neutral in nature. An easy thing to do is just to bring your focus to your body. Notice the energy and sensations within and without your body. Then focus on the sensations of your nose from the incoming and outgoing breath. Putting your full attention on your breath will do wonders to put you in a calm state of mind.
3. Mastery of thoughts: Several times throughout your day try to have a complete vacancy of mind. Just stopping the total movement of your mind. Most people will only be able to empty their minds for a few seconds before another random thought carries them away. Keep practicing in time you will be able to achieve 1-3 minutes. Once you can do it for 10 minutes you have gained significant control of your mind.
4. Thought journal: Another good idea is to keep a thought journal. At the end of the day rewind your day in your mind and mentally walk through it. Write down any thoughts and themes that occupied your day. Don’t judge your thoughts as being good or bad, this is simply material for your own self-knowledge. Don’t share this with anyone. Once a week, let’s say Sunday, review your journal and then come up with specific trains of thought that you want to nurture in the coming week. Schedule them. You will then have a valuable tool to see if you are being successful in gradually training your mind and seeing the effects that it has on your day. These exercises start to help you develop a sense of responsibility for the way you think.
Almost everyone has associated irresponsibility with freedom, but this isn’t true. You will find that the more responsible you become for your total being (mind, emotions, body), the more free you will actually be. You will be in a far better position to make your dreams a reality.
You are far more powerful than you give yourself credit for. Never give up on yourself, because once you do, it’s game over.
Blaming and complaining never got anybody anything. Take responsibility for every facet of your life and use your time wisely, there is no telling what you can accomplish in your life. Godspeed my friend.
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I recommend reading “How to live on 24 hours a day” which broached the ideas of thought discipline – it was written over a hundred years ago (1910) but holds true to this day.
The book is now in pyblic domain available from Project Guttenberg
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2274
Thanks so much, I will def. be checking it out…hope all is well…
Another great piece of writing Ivan. I really enjoy what you have to say and find many of the things challenging to do which is a good thing.
I’ve really been working on doing things to control my own mind and thinking. One thing I have started doing is to become more mindful throughout my day.
I try and just notice the experience without getting caught up in it. I let experiences, feelings and thoughts come in and leave my mind.
I also try and control my attention but not what I see by not pushing anything way and not clinging to anything. So I try and watch my thoughts coming and going. It’s much more difficult and challenging than it sounds and it takes practice.
I’ve also been trying to use all my senses during my day and really “see” through them.
It’s amazing the number of random thoughts that come through the mind.
So happy to hear that Matt! That is the best work you can do, yes, to become more conscious, takes conscious effort…what you put in is what you will get out, in the form of great self-awareness and understanding…keep going!
Wait until you have kids – that really throws a spanner in the proverbial responsibility works! 🙂
hehe, we plan on waiting a few more years 🙂
Hi Ivan! You are so right that our thinking needs to be disciplined and trained. I love your quote, “Every moment be aware of where you place your attention, because whatever you place your attention on grows.” Your four steps to being more mindful are great reminders. Thank you!
My pleasure, glad it resonated with you. Hope all is well. Peace.