How To Overcome Your Ultimate Fear

“Get busy living, or get busy dying”- The Shawshank Redemption

The Paradox of Living Life

Today’s post is meant to be a gentle reminder to one of the basic facts about life, and to inspire you to live your life to the fullest.

This basic fact is: “The moment you are born, you are simultaneously dying”…let that sink in for a bit….

Life only exists because of death, and death exists because of life, they are polar opposites of the same thing, one can’t exist without the other.

The problem is that when we cling to life, we then become afraid of death. We cling to life, because most of us never enjoy life in its totality, so we become afraid of death, which is the root cause of all our fears.

We are constantly on a search for an ultimate feeling of aliveness, of permanent peace, somewhere in the distant future. A place where everything will be ok, a land full of magnificent double rainbows and where pretty unicorns await our arrival.

We are constantly postponing life for this imagined world, so if death comes a knocking, we say “please… not yet…I still have not lived my life..what about the unicorns?” But why are we even seeking in the first place? It is essential to understand the seeker, before you try to find out what it is he is seeking.

Overcoming The Fear of Death

The reality is that whatever fulfillment we are searching for is available to us in this very moment, it is the first and last freedom.

When you learn to live every moment of your life for its own sake, each moment will then be lived totally, you will use it all up, no matter how mundane. You will be constantly fulfilled.

When each moment is lived totally, the fear of death begins to disappear. You quit clinging to life and actually start to live it, you go beyond fear.

Next time you are impatiently waiting for the future to arrive, remember that whatever you’re waiting for to happen, will happen, but don’t sacrifice these precious moments just because you think the future is going to be better.

Sacrificing a moment that is truly alive in this very instant, for something that does not exist, will keep you in bondage and in a constant state of fear. You’re destroying the delicate thing called life.

In reality life is just one continuous  moment; past and future are only concepts of our mind. The question then is, when it’s all said and done, was the majority of your life spent alive in the moment?…or were you already dead in the past and future?

My message to you is, don’t wait, waiting is a waste of time, wake up and live your life here and now. Be alert, be sensitive to live, discover your awareness within.

When you realize that every moment you are living you are simultaneously dying, you see the simplicity of life, you need to relax and be at ease with it.

Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, keep your awareness on your breath and just be. Guess what? You’re home, you have arrived, no where to go, this is all there is and all there will ever be, so take it all in. Beautiful isn’t ?

Live your life totally and when death comes, welcome it, it allowed you to live.

I enjoyed writing this for you, it surely was not a waste of my time, so I sincerely hope it is not a waste of yours…what are your thoughts on this post?…join the conversation below……thank you and be well….

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67 Responses to How To Overcome Your Ultimate Fear

  1. “Next time you are impatiently waiting for the future to arrive, remember that whatever you’re waiting for to happen, will happen, but don’t sacrifice these precious moments just because you think the future is going to be better.

    Sacrificing a moment that is truly alive in this very instant, for something that does not exist, will keep you in bondage and in a constant state of fear. You’re destroying the delicate thing called life.

    Beautiful words, my friend. That’s a great way to think about it.

    Ivan, this post was awesome and, strangely, relates a lot to my latest post on death as well.

    • thanks… i owe you my friend, it really helped me overcome the fear, i wish more people inspire other like you just did. i from philippines… your wisdom knocks my heart from a large distance,. thanks my friend. thank you so much.

  2. working on understanding and embracing my fear better… and hopefully… i can move on without them… thanks for sharing ivan… in case your feet takes you to singapore or philippines… let me know…

    • good luck on the journey my friend :)..and I will let you know..I plan on going to both next year 🙂

  3. Very profound piece my friend. Reminds me of an Albert Einstein quote: “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” For me this means to forget about the past for it is already gone. No need to dwell there because it is just a waste of time and energy. Hope for the future but don’t concentrate my living there for while I am not there currently I will be soon. Live in the moment, the here and now for this is where true life is found. You have a great outlook on life Ivan and I continue to be inspired by your writing.

    • mr. einstein is def. the man! :)…your doing awesome my friend :)…your enjoying your life today and your future plans are taking tangible shape…keep at it 🙂

  4. that was i was looking for someone like make genuine thoughts. In this day and age we simply google an idea and regurgitate past experience…this is “yours” not aristotle’s, not Neitzshe, and we require not the precedent of past thinkers.

    • thank you 🙂 I really appreciate you taking the time to check out my site :)…hope all is well…come back soon…

  5. I’ve been meditating on death for the past week, and I find it helps soothes the fear of death considerably. Now when I think about death, it kinda bores me.. and feels kinda ho-hum.

  6. While I’m not sure I understood totally to your view of life and death, what you say about conscious fulfilment in the present moment is spot on. I think I’ve come to a certain philosophical understanding about life and consciousness which gives me a good deal of comfort around the subject of death. I no longer fear the veil of death as I used to. But I still fear dying with my music still in me.

    • hey lach great to see you hear on my site :)…thanks for sharing and contributing to it :)…hope all is well in your neck of the woods :)….

  7. “Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai” deals extensively with achieving fearlessness in regards to one’s own demise. It’s available for free viewing here at Google Books:

    For me, it made ALL the difference. Excellent post, Ivan!

    • I can kind of see where he’s coming from, but he sure puts it in dramatic terms. How are you enjoying those Seppuku meditations, John? 😉

      • Why, I was surprised (and glad) to find the idea of meditating on different ways of one’s own death in an old book like “Hagakure”. I used to think the idea was sort of mine. 🙂 Used to practise it since early childhood (the ways were so many that perhaps one of them will be mine in reality, though reality is richer than imagination!), and nobody whom I asked had ever done the same. And the author of “Hagakure” did… I am so grateful to him that I am not lonely any more! 🙂

      • thank u for this it helped alot. I was living my life until Hurricane Katrina came and gave me these negative thoughts. But im happy i read these words u reminded me that all i have to do is LIVE and ill be alrught like i was before. thank you

  8. Thank you for the great post. I coach, teach, and practice mindful present moment, yet, woke today with a fear of death. Always remember your words my friend and keep posting. You never know who is out there needing the step up as we journey. And thank you for re=minding me.

  9. Hi! I liked your post and I agree with you. I can say the same things but isn’t always so. 3 years ago i was afraid to die from cancer. I wasn’t ill but fear made me fell sick.
    From those days my life have completely changed – job, people, places. And now I know that I live and I know that I will die some day. But I’m not afraid of it.

  10. This is a different perspective that I haven’t heard before. It helped me calm down a bunch about the fear of death. Thank you so much for writing this because it made me feel much better. 🙂

  11. I always try to live in the moment, but even when I do i still fear that one day it will all be over. It is hard to believe that one day i will never see the sunlight or breathe fresh air again, I will just lose everything i have come to know. While on this day I may not be aware of this, it is still a scary thought to me. I am only 17 and this fear just recently started for me, but this post was really helpful.
    “Live your life totally and whenever death comes, welcome it, it allowed you to live.”
    This quote in particular was really helpful. Your perspective is very different and refreshing. Thanks very much 🙂

  12. It’s strange, they say we all have this inbuilt fear of death, yet for me that was never so. I have suffered with a severe anxiety disorder for over a year now and the only thing that scares me terribly is the very fact that I exist at all. I pray that when death comes it will leave me free of fear. The idea of reincarnation is hell for me.

  13. Thank u so much.I have hepatitis c and am very depressed.all the bad suffering I have to go through makes me so depressed.
    Please pray for me.I have a wonderful family.I really don’t think I’m afraid of dieing. Its the suffering.I wish I could blink my eyes and be gone.thank you for your site.helped so much.
    God Bless Glenda

  14. I am fearing death only because of TV my dad because he is dying and myself I want to know what god has in store for me but I’m scared it will be something that I don’t like but I’m only 11 so I shouldn’t think about things like this I’m scared just to go to sleep because of this fear but I have heard we never dye heaven is just another place we go to please write more things about this brett

  15. The scary part of death is that there is no proof of life after death. People always mention the Bible, but most of the stories are impossible. I don’t believe Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. And Man is a descendant from the ape and not Adam & Eve.

  16. a true post which deals with the reality of life and death.
    thanks for writing a inspiring post and i will live my rest of the life in the way, that you told and i should be and i will also ask others to do the same.

  17. Thank you for posting this. I am currently undergoing treatment for fear of a few things. One of which is the fear of dying. Your post is the first one that had actually hit home with me and makes sense.

  18. That was ok, but not what I was looking for. I was looking for a how to, to ease my mind not an all about session. Good job though…

  19. fear is a sign of weaknesses and also it means that you have a heart” because if you have no fear you don’t know how to love

    ”but thanks for this site there are some information that i can able to use” during in the middle of fear”..

  20. Hi.thank you for the advice i’m a teenager,yes a little young to think about this kind of things but i think that’s my mind.i want to forget this things every single day but my mind won’t let me,im not the person who wants to talk about my can i talk to you?Anything you can suggest me to forget this phobia cause because of my phobia everynig can’t sleep well,i sleep 1 or 3 am i listen to the radio just to entertain myself i’m tired of doing that everyday sometimes i cry when i think that my family are going to die soon please help me i need someone to talk to.BTW sorry for my bad english im a filipino

  21. I think of my past and the people that are gone fromm it. I wish for them everyday. I have two beautiful boys that I don’t to leave on this earth. I love them so much. I know dying is what we do everyday. But I don’t want to go and I don’t ever want them to either. I love them they are all I have and one son- I am all he has. My heart hurts literally thinking about it sometime. I wonder if something is wrong with me. I think one day when I find the man for me, all these feelings in my head will go away. Pray for me

  22. By reading this has helped me alot I could never get my head around death and it still will take time I try to do something i enjoy everyday and just go with the flow its what makes me happy and you never know what will happen tomorro so my advice to everyone Be happy .. Enjoy every single day 🙂

  23. Wow thank you so much! I can’t tell you how much this helps. When i was little i used to cry for many nights over the idea of death. It caught back up to me just now at 16. Im so glad i don’t have to fear it anymore, i can just let it be what it is 🙂

  24. i have but one fear in life and that is death it’s self, i fear this so badly that at times i have thrown myself into panic and or anxiety matter who i talk to or how many articles i read giving advice on this i cant seem to ease my mind of this fear. it has gotten so bad that i refuse to have any type of surgeries done because my fear has grown so sever that now i fear being put to sleep. sometimes i even fear going to sleep at thoughts never stop i often set and think about things, like when we do die and were lyeing there how does our body know, and when were dead do we truely loose all sence of everything we once knew. do we feel when there cutting on us to embomb us. this fear has led me to have horrifing night mares. ive seen myself laying there on a table and its as if im paralized even though my eyes are stareing blankly up at the ceiling i can see people standing around me as i lay there on this table i can hear them talk and i keep trying to call out to them and let them know im alive im not dead.and just as they go to start the process of embombing me i suddenly awake in a cold sweat. sometimes i think im loseing my mind cause i fear this so badly. plzzzz can some one help me..

    • i experienced exactly what you did, it feels death is a constant “threat” that never lets me feel safe. Only tiny hope is to “redefine” the word “safe” in our mind as “I am safe because I am not scared”, to REPLACE “I am safe because death is far from me” – we cannot handle that second thought “…far from” because it is simply not true, it is denial of the facts. So we have to be true and the only true thing in the brain is that “if you are scared you do not feel safe, if you are not scared you do feel safe”. That’s humans for you!

  25. I am a 47 yr old male. After reading your article it makes sence to me. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohal. When I turned 45 it felt like life became to end and no hope in sight. I am so far behind in life I feel as if I’ve givin up, thrown in the towel. Not to kill myself, but just do nothing about it except mask it with chemical, food and stay in bed and do nothing to help myself. This has got me thinking of the day I die, what’s it going to b like, what will I b thinking at that very moment. It feels so lonely. I don’t know how to even to begin to live like your article says. Thank you

    • I feel the same. I struggle to feel comfortable with biological ending and seem only okay with things that cannot end. Very vulnerable feeling all the time. Advice never really helps me but one thing I read that made me think a bit was “birth is the opposite of death” not “life is the opposite of death”. So pretend life is eternal soulful energy is an idea I am trying to convince myself to really believe. That’s the downside of self awareness but if you shift self-awareness from biology to “spiritual-ology” it kinda helps somewhat.

  26. It is said that all fear is a fear of death, yet I have a fear of the opposite. I fear the fact that anything exists at all. I fear the idea that even after I die I might still exist somehow… Weird huh and definitely not an ultimate fear of death surely?

  27. Wow, ur words has really helped me alot. I left drugs cocaine n weed, cigarette everything around 2 years back and had the worst of panic attacks in my life. The fear of death is always with me, having therapies and all and i am recovering very quickly but ur article has really given me a new perspective a new way to think about life. Cheers man. May GOD bless you.

  28. I’ve suffered from this for 40 years. Can I still overcome this fear after all this time? It has invaded most of my life and has kept from truly enjoying life. Please respond.

  29. Hi Ivan,

    I liked your post a real lot! I just have one question though as I’m not sure that I fully understood this ‘… every moment you are living you are simultaneously dying,’

    Could you explain it further please?

    Thanks and well done!

  30. Hi Ivan,

    I don’t think you could EVER truly understand how much your words helped me… I know its plain but all I can do now is just tell you how much I am grateful for your help.

    Thank you SO much for posting this article!
    I am forever grateful… ?

  31. This really was inspiring, but i still fear death, its scares me knowing that once your gone thats it, nothing comes aftyer. Its a scary harsh reality knowingafter you die you rot in a box 6ft under. Idk how else i can explain it, it just really scares me…

    • When you die your body continues to rot which it is doing right now, but your soul and consciousness doesn’t. Your body and soul will be separated at that point. Your soul lives on in heaven. But even if you don’t believe that, then what difference would it make as if you believe when you die that is it, you would not be aware of it anyway.

  32. Thank you for your wisdom. Great words. I found an experience of someone close to me dying when I was young (and so were they) made me realise how much I should enjoy the time I have as at anytime it could be curtailed. Never look to yourself, but see the suffering of others, do what you can and be grateful 😉

  33. I have tears in my eyes while reading.
    I am so afraid of dying.
    Wish I could surrender like you wrote. I am fed up of being tired all my life but still can’t let go of the fear and just live.

  34. I’m so afraid to die that I think of ways how I could die. Drowning. Bcus I can’t swim. Special now that we’re in a time that we don’t know what gonna happen like the earthquake we’ve been waiting for. I started to think of many ways I can die.. Smashed by falling buildings sunaumi caused by the earthquake. And I get more afraid of death when I started think about my son how I’m I gonna protected him or if he die imma die with him… I stated scaring myself on how am I gonna live if my son son dies. Or if I die and my son is alone.. I don’t wanna think of these things I love my life but the time we’re living now (2017) makes me more scared what could happen…

  35. After years of struggling I asked myself ‘what if death isn’t so bad?’ We’re fed all this information that keeps us in a never-ending cycle of fear, but what if none of it is true? I also applied these 5 ways to overcome the fear of dying which I know will help others: Great post.

  36. Beautiful!
    I thought I was afraid of ageing but it turns out that I am still afraid of death. I guess if I had had an NDE, or at least an OBE, my fears would be greatly diminished.

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