“The question is not what you look at, but what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau
Awakening Consciousness: How To See People Better
For many of us, we are die-hard creatures of habits, we love patterns, and they make our lives easier. The problem is that life then becomes monotonous, we just run through the motions. We take something that is alive and turn it into a dead thing through a mechanical habit.
If you do something repetitively, as long as you are mindful it will be new, it will be fresh. It’s Only a matter of awareness, a habit only becomes boring when we become unaware.
I would like you to try a little experiment, next time you see a loved one or a friend, try and see them as if they are a stranger. Like if this is the very first time you are looking at their face. Really feel it. See them simply and without any inner verbalization. Try and put aside everything you know about this person, suspend your beliefs.
I think you will come to realize that it has been a very long time since you have actually looked at this person. The person may even appear to look completely different to you. Take a real penetrating look, and notice every little detail, the wrinkles in the skin, the imperfections, the freckles, everything. You may even really feel that they are a stranger to you.
We are never the same, but because we think we know someone, we quit looking and then only carry that image of them in our minds.
You can also try the opposite, next time you’re in a public place look at a stranger like he is a long-lost friend. Really feel like you once knew this person very well. How does this attitude make you feel? Do you feel like somehow you have a connection with this person, even though you know nothing about them? Do you feel a sense of compassion? Do strangers now seem less scary? Try it; I would love to hear about your experience.
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Wow, this is powerful stuff Ivan.
I can’t wait to try this out, it seems so simple and obvious but this is the first time i’ve ever thought about how I see the people in my life.
Brilliant..
Love, ter oxx!!
I have this theory that people are attracted to eye doctors because they are always looking their patients right in the eye which is a non-verbal signal of attraction.
*and your pop-up thing is still startling me*
.-= pamela´s last blog ..Home =-.
i actually do this all the time, unbeknown to many many people. hah! (i have tried to describe it to a small handful of people before, but it mostly just comes across as very odd. things always seem to take on more validity once they’ve been written down though, eh? sucks.)
let me know what you discover :)…thanks again 🙂@Teresa Bialkowska:
the eyes are the windows to the soul :)…if you know how to look they will reveal much 🙂 @pamela:
I know 🙂 I can see you are very observant 😉 thank you my friend 🙂 @seema:
Yes, it’s really your thoughts that create your subjective perception of anything “out there” .. so why not choose the right thoughts that lead us to positive feelings .. (and actions?)
thank you 🙂
.-= Michael Michalowski´s last blog ..Do you wanna be excellent? Be yourself! =-.
thanks Michael 🙂 be well….@Michael Michalowski:
Thank you Ivan. It is interesting that you posted on this subject. In the last couple of days I had quite a few reminders about the importance of staying in the state of ‘bewilderment’ about anything, being fully present like when you encounter something totally new and interesting to me, without identifying with memories of past experiences. It is about realizing that when I think I know something, my mind becomes closed, I stop looking, and I stop learning. Thanks again for the reminder, my friend.
Peace & Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre´s last blog ..Is Your Toolbox Getting Too Heavy? =-.
Brilliant Ivan! … So much change can be activated, simply by new or changed perspective… if we intentionally look at things as if they are new, we see something that is never quite the same again after that… I like this.
thanks for contributing to the post 🙂 and keep doing what your doing 🙂 be like peter pan 😉 @Andre:
its my pleasure Pablo :)….keep exploring 🙂 @PABlo:
Ivan,
Thanks for this timely reminder. You have a lovely way of formulating your thoughts. Keep it coming.
-=Tucker
I tried this once with someone I knew from work, she was talking to me but I wasnt focused on what she was saying, it was like I was studying her for the first time. It seemed odd like she was someone I had never met before. I need to try this more often, thanks.