“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” – Thucydides
Understanding Your Key Relationships
If you want to understand yourself, your mind, your thoughts, your life, and the world you live in, you need to examine your relationships.
Understanding your psychological relationships is your key in developing wisdom. You will need to have a calm and quiet mind to see and penetrate the fundamental structure of the relationship.
It has been mans eternal quest to seek truth, god, happiness, bliss, and deep fulfillment. While we have advanced our material comforts tremendously, that yearning for truth and happiness seems stronger than ever.
In examining our lives I think we can agree that our strongest relationships are to our family, beliefs, and society. I feel that much of our inner conflict arises in trying to find our individuality while maintaining relationships to our family and society.
In searching for individuality we are ultimately searching for freedom, the freedom to be ourselves, but is freedom possible while maintaining a relationship to society? I trust it can but it will require you to have a radically different understanding and relationship to it.
If we examine society and the nature of its relationship to us, we will see that for it to continue to exist in its present form it must do so by creating a relationship of dependency in us.
What does this dependency entail?
- Social Comforts
- Social norms and behaviors
- Religion, culture, tradition
I would just like you to examine anything that may be causing you inner conflict. To look at it without running away, escaping from it only makes it stronger. If you try and escape from it you will just substitute it with something else, but that will not solve the problem.
What is your relationship to this conflict? What’s the nature of it? Is this conflict caused because you are leaving it up to society to solve for you? Is this conflict arising from conforming and maintaining social norms, which are in direct opposition to your individual desires?
If you are constantly paranoid or anxious, where are these ideas coming from? Where they given to you? Is there any basis of truth to it? Is it coming from your own direct experiences? Or is it just from the constructs of your mind based on beliefs given to you by a society designed to create dependency?
A true relationship is based on being able to relate to one another, remaining independent yet able to cooperate and share with others. Society is not a living thing, it is a dead thing, an entity of old ideas so it can’t relate. Naturally for it to exist it depends on you to compromise to its ideals.
Look at your number one relationship that is causing you conflict, see it in its entirety, how is it keeping you from happiness? How is this dependency causing you anxiety, look at the causes of it, how can you break this relationship, how can you transcend it?
I feel that many of our common dependencies will just fall away when seen with clear penetrating eyes, when you simply see how absurd it is to play along, to maintain an illusion, to live a life of social conditioning.
Remember it, to be free means to be an individual, to accept responsibility for every facet of your life and being.
If you are looking to society to fulfill your sense of security, how good a job is it doing? Life by its very nature is uncertainty, this has to be understood, so that you can see that certainty can never be given to you by society. Why waste your energy in mothering that relationship?
We need to become conscious of the mental prison we have constructed, so we can see how our own thoughts are continually trying to avoid coming into conflict with the ideals of our prison. If you are able to see this inner movement with its subtle mechanisms, you will begin to understand it and will come to an end.
In living and traveling abroad I meet and converse with many people who comment on how is that I am able to do and live the way I am. They ask me how my parents feel about me not settling down, starting a family, having (grown up) responsibilities, having a professional career, etc.
I just smile and tell them that I quit consulting with society or my family to tell me how to live. I do what I feel is best for me in the moment, I listen to my heart, I develop trust not beliefs, I meditate, contemplate, I commit mistakes, I try to be cautious but I make the leap into the unknown, and in the process I live in a state of fulfillment and freedom that society could never give me.
It is very important that you become conscious of the relationships you have, to understand them, to know why they exist. If you don’t question them they will continue to grow, but remember that relationship only exists because you have yet to do anything about it.
Sure, society makes life easy and comfortable, and I am not saying you need to renounce it and become a monk, just don’t depend on it to tell you how to live. This is your life to explore; exploring is where the fun and fulfillment is at. It’s not in the destination, but in the ride, the journey, the process of life.
Be a light unto yourself; share your own unique experience, which is the best contribution you can make to society, a real enrichment. There are as many paths to freedom as there are people on this earth, the problem is that society is trying to decide one path for all, and we know that is impossible.
I encourage you to quit depending on anyone or anything, sure others can give you advice and their own personal insight, but it will be coming from their own life experiences, which may be perfect for their life, their purpose. What about your life, your purpose?
It’s up to you to decide and honestly why would you want it any other way. Once you discover your power, you will be reborn, no becoming just pure being. In pure being you will cultivate a mind capable of perceiving and appreciating the miracle of our existence, you only need to wake up…god speed my friend 🙂
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