How To Enjoy and Grow By Being With Yourself

“The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

manuelantonio by you.

Learning To Be All By Yourself

There is no doubt that we are  social creatures who need to meet and connect with others. Our modern-day society also makes it very easy to find like-minded people who we can connect with. While it’s great to socialize and have a great time with others, I feel that many of us do not take enough time to be with ourselves. If you constantly choose to express your ideas only when you are with others, you might never really be confident in them, you will always need another’s approval to confirm or deny them.

The reality is that most are slaves to their mind, and always need to be entertained with something. If you are home alone, resist the temptation to turn on the TV, learn to be with your silence and inner space. Learn to watch everything that’s going on inside of you. Learn to see your beliefs, penetrate them, you will see that they where never truly yours, they were given to you.

Discovering Your True Self By Exploring Your Inner Space

The more you learn to be with yourself the more grounded you will become; you will learn to really love being yourself. Only when you can love yourself, will you be able to love someone else. True love with out unrealistic expectations, or conditions that must be met.

You also need to understand that most people don’t really understand themselves, so don’t rely on others for solutions to your problems. Just go inward; if you are sincere in your efforts, you will go down a path on inner transformation. The better you understand yourself, the better you are able to respond to your external environment. Slowly you will develop your intuitive abilities, and not allow yourself to be lead astray by others. You will be able to see if others are genuine in trying to help with any of your endeavors.

Through meditation you will learn to go to the depths of your being. You will gradually penetrate and come to see all the things that are operating below your conscious awareness. Things like your negative tendencies and negative thoughts that sabotage your conscious decisions. They where only allowed to exist because you lacked the proper awareness. Once you gain a deep understanding through your awareness, you will simply drop them.

To make positive lasting change you need to go deep and become more conscious and alert. This is why it’s important to take plenty of time for deep introspection. Just remember that if you don’t question you don’t internalize. The more you question the more you will able to see all the cycled dramas and dialogues of your life, it will help you become conscious of them. You will see that you were trained to mother wrong experiences in your life. Learn to mother great things, right things, right thoughts, and break the cycle.

If you learn to be with your inner space, you will create more and more space for you to witness and question everything. Living from this space will give you the ability to change and evolve yourself to the next stage of your growth.

In Being Yourself Self Remembrance is Key

From my experience, I notice that the more calm and even minded I become from being with my silence, the more aware I become of myself. What I mean by self remembrance is that you learn to constantly remember and acknowledge your existence. You become more present and your way of life becomes more experiential.

The more self remembrance I develop the more I am able to recall every single moment of my day with amazing clarity. You will gradually learn to remember yourself while observing yourself. When you are in a state of self-consciousness you can experience having flashes of objective consciousness and remember them. This is difficult for me to articulate into words as it is something you will have to experience for yourself.

The more I allow myself to be with my silence, the easier I am able to shed my ego, old habits, old ways of thinking, become open to a new perspective, and make my being more conducive to growth. I am able to go past my obstacles by keeping my mind fluid.

Seeing Without Verbalization

Learn to see without verbalization, which is to see without becoming attached and giving something a label. Just pay attention when you’re at a park and you see a beautiful rose, you will see that as soon as you process it in your mind and verbalize it, you disconnect from reality and its beauty.

You go into your own dream world no longer connected with the object you where seeing. The more you learn to see without inner verbalization the more childlike you will become, you will see the boundary between you and the rose melt. You will also notice that colors become more vibrant, it’s as if your eyes now have high-definition.

Many who read this will say, that sounds great but how do I stop verbalizing, is it even possible. Something you need to understand is that your mind is a subtle action. You pose your mind with a question and it takes action on it. But just like with any action, you have control over it once you’re aware of it. Just as I can decide to start walking, I can decide to stop walking.

You just need to become conscious of your mind and decide this moment to stop thinking and become un-identified with the mind. The problem is that most people don’t realize this and let their minds run wild thinking that it’s the minds only state. Meditation can help you learn to drop the mind, and go into a space of mindlessness. If you are disciplined and sincere in your efforts you will become calmer and even minded.

You will learn to use the mind when it’s needed and put it aside when it’s not. Just analyze yourself, how do you feel when you have constant incessant inner chattering? It takes a great toll on your system, you become tired and lethargic. When you learn to put your mind aside when it’s not needed, you will notice more energy rise up within you.

Things To Do by Yourself

Here are a few suggestions that costs little to no money, of where you can take the time to just be with yourself. Activities for inner exploration and growth.

• Walking in the woods: Being with nature different parts of your being become activated, learn to observe your surroundings without any verbalization, just become one with the forest.

• Meditate on the beach: Great way to be with nature and tune in to all the sounds around you. Make sure you wear sunscreen, last weekend I got a terrible sun burn.

• Flying a Kite: One of my favorite things to do as a kid, I still remember how peaceful it made me feel.

• Sitting at a park bench (people watching): Go to your favorite park, unclutch from the mind, become aware of everything going on around you. Notice how vibrant the flowers are, the smells in the air. Bring a notebook with you, jot down anything that arises from your experience of silently observing.

• Sitting on your front porch drinking tea.

• Watching the sun set: Just see it don’t verbalize. Feel the connection between your inner space and the sky.

• Fishing: When I was young I used to hate when my father took me fishing, I did not realize the great opportunity it was for inner growth.

Hope you enjoyed my article on the importance of learning to be with yourself. Next time you find yourself bored and restless, try one of the activities I mentioned above, realize this is a great opportunity for personal growth.

In the comments below please share an activity that you enjoy doing by yourself.

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18 Responses to How To Enjoy and Grow By Being With Yourself

  1. You’ve put this so well. I can grasp the concept of not verbalizing everything and its application to real life much more easily than I have in the past.

    Painting sets my mind free. Non-representational water color when it’s all about the feeling and it’s not meant for anything. Sitting outside at dusk listening to the world can do it too.

  2. this was nice. i also really struggle with turning off the inner dialog and being present. it’s caused quite a few problems and i’m currently trying to alter things so that i am able to turn it off at will. i spend a lot of time by myself but one of the only times the chatter stops is when i’m drawing. one of those activities when i get completely pulled into it, lose track of time and don’t have a bitchy stream of over-analytical, worrisome thoughts.
    dig your blog, btw. you have some nice insights.

  3. Nice post. It is important to get to know yourself by spending time quiet time with yourself. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the outer noise. It can keep you busy for years. Then you wake up one day and wonder where did life go. And may even realize this is not your intended place to be during this time of life.

    Now, that I am starting to discover who I am and realigning myself, I realize there is some difficult decisions to make. But, I like Earl Warren’s quote for this, “Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile, I caught hell for.” Makes me laugh. Won’t be easy, but I know it will be worthwhile for me
    .-= moneyfunk´s last blog ..26 ways to make extra money =-.

    • thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts…very much appreciated :)…hope all is well

  4. I think you can really go about writing a book and telling it out to the world. Frankly, you have articulated it very well.. greatly appreciated. Many people out there need help and need to view this to atleast understand something new of what is more out there for them to meet.

    Thanks..
    Shyam B :-)

  5. Ivan,
    I love your message here. I find people and couples in my practice do not know how to quiet themselves and just be. It takes some work and focus for them to learn these skills. Sadly, it’s not uncommon. I live at the beach, and when I walk there, 99% of the people have on earphones or are talking on phones. Very, very few are actually being in the moment. I love the moments on the beach and don’t take any distractions (except my puppy.)
    Another suggestion not mentioned: take a few moments to journal before you relax with yourself. If you are person who struggles with racing or interrupting thoughts, you can put them on paper and give yourself permission to stop thinking about them for awhile. I keep a journal at my bedside for this use or for when I have ideas I want to remember.
    Keep writing!
    Kim
    .-= Kim L- HappyCoupleXprt´s last blog ..Do what you say and only say what you’ll do =-.

  6. Great article Ivan. I often take time to just be alone. Quieting the mind is so vital to my day. As you say, we are slaves to our minds… how often do people just be? It does take practice. I love to watch a sunset, sunrise or the full moon and just be. I had the joy of enjoying hoar frost several times with our Manitoba winter this year, just sitting and being….. Ahhhh.
    .-= Holly´s last blog ..You are where you need to be, exactly! =-.

  7. This is truly a great post. Why? I feel the same way. But mind you, I just had THE SHIFT about it. So now, I am totally excited about life and being with myself, doing stuff with just me and having fun. Please, take up on my offer and come to the Philippines. After Christmas maybe, before it really gets hot in the summer.

    • I am glad you could relate to the deeper meaning of the post :)…don’t be surprised if i do come to the philipines soon…im not that far :)

  8. Very nice article… Really enjoyed reading it. It is very true that spending time with oneself really helps..

    • 1)Listening music of my choice
      2)Gardening
      3)Playing with children
      4)Arranging my home in different ways
      5)Calling a relative as a sudden surprise
      6)Gifting my loved ones
      7)Going to a relative or friend suddenly
      8)Fulfilling tiny wishes of myself or my loved ones

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