“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people.”
– Jim Rohn
The power to connect with others is by far the most important skill you should develop. If you are ever to succeed in business and more importantly in life you need to have the ability to connect, because that is the essence of business.
Persuasion and Influence happen on many subtle levels not just through the verbal medium. Below are a few tips to keep in mind that will help you have a more meaningful connection.
• Tilting and nodding your head: When done properly, it tells the person that you are paying attention.
• Facial Expressions: Open friendly expressions show agreement and understanding. Closed constricted facial expressions show confusion and frustration.
• Breathing: Pay attention to the rhythm of their breathing. Try and synchronize with their breathing, this makes you feel like you are on the same wavelength as the other person.
• Tone: Try and feel the emotions of the other person, so that you can emit the same tonality.
• Volume: Is the person loud or quiet? Adjust your volume so that it matches the person.
• Speed: Does the person speak slow or fast? Someone who is a slow talker will feel uncomfortable speaking with a fast talker.
• Words: What type of words or slang is the person comfortable with? Knowing this can be very powerful in getting some to feel at ease with you.
Things to keep in mind during a conversation:
• Focus on understanding
• Sum up at major intervals
• Ask questions for clarity
• Suspend your judgment
• Look at the speaker
Becoming More Influential With People
Always be aware of your internal dialogue, don’t judge people, and always have a healthy social-friendly internal dialogue. People will see you as a charismatic person, because you are keeping your ego in check by constantly monitoring your internal dialogue.
• Don’t make assumptions
• Don’t take anything personal, be free of criticism (this is a quality that great leaders and influential people possess)
• Be free of fear
• Be impeccable with your word. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
• Give total attention to someone. The best way is with your eyes. Be careful not to look around, or you will think of ways to end the conversation.
For a more in depth article on the art of making quick and genuine connections with people, check out my post: How To Improve Your Likability To Make Quick Connections
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