How To Love Actually

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” – Albert Einstein

Love is a word that is thrown around a lot these days. I love that double chocolate ice cream, I love my TV, and I love YOU. Seems like the word has lost its meaning or we have forgotten what the word “love” actually means.

Compassion is the highest form of love. When you see two people who are passionately in love, it is a very raw energy. Passion is lust; this is why two lovers who are in love one day can quickly fall out of love.

When you learn to have conscious control of your passion, that same passionate energy is transformed into compassion.

Compassion is able to rise above egoist desires, greed, and anger. Becoming a true person of compassion makes you a blessing to yourself and anyone that you encounter.

So what happens when you get rid of  your desires and become desire less? The energy that was consumed by your desires does not just simply go away. Energy cannot be destroyed; your new found energy is then turned into compassion. You need all your vital energy because compassion is not something you can cultivate. Compassion has to be allowed to just happen through your being.

It is important to understand that any desire does not matter what it is, is driven by motivation. Compassion has no motivation or goal; it is just a state of unconditional love. Usually the closest thing we get to witness is that love of a mother for her child.

People who are truly compassionate want to help others achieve the same level of happiness and understanding they experience. Helping others becomes a joyful undertaking and not an inconvenience. They help to help, it’s not driven by personal gain. You learn that the more you give, the more you get.

If you observe someone who is compassionate you are able to see that they really accept others as they are, accepting their strengths and weaknesses. They understand that being compassionate does not make you higher than the next person. If you are not careful you will use the idea of compassion as an ego trip.

Compassion is to love unconditionally. Your love is not blind because you have cultivated alertness and awareness to the energies of your passions. Passion is biological and blind because it is dependent on other things. Compassion is spiritual and unconditional. You need the awareness to turn your passion into compassion.

All of the great teachers through out time like Jesus and Buddha demonstrated compassion. They loved their disciples unconditionally, they where masters who wanted their students to become masters.

Meditation is Key:
Increase your awareness to be become aware of the love found within you, a love of your inner being. Meditation is the key to become aware of your passions. Once you become aware of your passions, you turn it into compassion.

When you begin to meditate you will also become aware of any thoughts you deny. Anything that you deny creates tension; if you are to properly meditate you need to learn to relax. If you are to deeply relax you need to accept anything that you deny. If you come to find that little things easily disturb you, that’s a signal that your own attitude is disturbing and causing tension within you.

We are all one:
Living a life of compassion will lead you to immense gratitude of everything around you because you realize everything is connected and interrelated. One of my favorite things to do on a nice day is to go to a public park, pick a bench, and people watch. I like to observe everything that is going around me, dogs barking, birds chirping, etc. Noticing how intensely alive that everything is. Just being alive, learning to not be bogged down by the formalities of society.

To really help others you must first light the fire in yourself, then kindle the fire in others. First travel the path on your own, come to know it perfectly and understand where it leads. Then you can take others on the path, otherwise it is just the blind leading the blind, does not even matter if your intentions where good. A blind intent is motivated by personal gain.

To make love an actuality, for many of us it will mean to face the fact that we have not really loved yet. Use this realization to begin loving yourself, only than will you be able to truly love someone else.

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16 Responses to How To Love Actually

  1. Ivan,

    Very good indeed., I love the word compassion as it is a word of action. To have compassion is to be so moved that you actually desire and take action. Using the example of Jesus. He was always moved with compassion for his people. Although he was tired or hurting either physically or emotionaly he was always moved with compassion for those around him and it caused him to take action for those around him.. A person with true compassion will be someone that takes action. You will stop only thinking of yourself and you will just do whatever the act f compassion reuires. Compassion = ACTION. If you are truley a compassionate person you will know it and so will those around you by the actions you are taking.

  2. Hi Ivan, this was a beautiful article. Consider it ‘dugg’. 😀

    I would like to make a comment on the notion that compassion is the highest form of love. To my mind, compassion is crucial to a truly loving mind, but it is only one aspect of the highest form of love. The difference is subtle, but I feel important.

    The purest love is a phase of mind, and the highest form of that phase is itself. Imagine ‘love’ if it were represented as a rainbow. Compassion would then be represented as a color among the spectrums of color that form that rainbow. Just as there are many colors that make a rainbow, many qualities combine to harmonize consciousness with the purest phase of love. Qualities such as gratitude and forgiveness, to name just a couple.

    Love is like a perfectly played orchestral tune, and the purest and most powerful orchestral harmony comes only from the combination of many instruments. Rather than say the highest form of love is compassion, I would rephrase and say the highest form of love requires compassion.

  3. Wow Ivan. Very eloquent writing on a great topic for us all to keep close to our hearts. You are doing great things here- keep it up.

  4. It’s hard to believe for me the quote above actually belongs to Mr. Einstein. That’s not scientific at all and sounds rather like new age, emotional intelligence propaganda.

  5. Great post Ivan -as always. I found it interesting as well how you phrased having ‘a disturbed attitude’. Thanks for this beautiful post 😀

  6. Hi Ivan, nice message, its great to see an army of people being able to connect beyond the dream of separation to the reality of oneness. Sound stuff, Joseph

  7. I am truly grateful for finding your blog Ivan. You are an extraordinary young man, and I will be sharing your posts with everyone! Thank you soo much. Much Love and many Blessings, Kkmberly

  8. Your words are very inspirational and help me to see things in a different perspective. We are so conditioned in all aspects of life. It traps us totally.

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