“Philosophy always requires something more, requires the eternal, the true, in contrast to which even the fullest existence as such is but a happy moment.”- Soren Kierkegaard
(Note: Lately I only write if I get the feeling to write, I just put it down on paper as I feel it without thinking of a theme, structure, or topic. Let me know if you like it or not :))
In the last several years, I have come to realize many things in the process of trying to understand myself and the mysteries of life. In order to grow in our being we need to understand our present level of being, but without any contrast it is very difficult to become aware of certain things to start the process of growth.
Several years back while studying many of the sacred texts all of them stressed the importance of developing awareness, of becoming more conscious. At the time it sounded lovely and made logical sense. I thought to myself that of course it’s important to be aware and conscious, but since I was at a certain level of awareness it remained an understanding of that level, of my experience of what those words even meant, which in hind sight was very limited, even though I thought otherwise.
Logically I understood but I did not know the meaning, the significance of the message. I lacked the personal experience, but I have always had this inner urge to try and understand existence so I kept pushing on. Once I began working on myself and trying to deeply inquire is when I began to go through many changes, began to feel many different things.
It would take sometime until certain things began to come into perspective, to understand what I was going through. One of the main things I came to realize was of how deeply unconscious and unaware I truly was, and this was not a logical understanding. It’s something I could feel, I could clearly see it in myself and then observe in others.
What helped me see and realize this was that I had made a sincere effort in trying to become alert, and I created sufficient experiences for me to see the contrast. If you are able to learn to become an unattached witness to everything, as you progress in your life many things will reveal themselves to you. The contrast surfaces because as you become un-clutched from your attachments you see how deeply influenced you where by them. It’s like knowing when you are drunk; you know you are drunk because you know how it feels to be sober. Now I had created enough experiences to see what it’s like to be truly awake in the world and what it is like when I am not awake. I began to experience life from a new vantage point that I could not put into words because it’s a state of being beyond words.
I could mention techniques I personally used but I feel they are of no use because it all depends on your experiences and where your level of consciousness is at. If I give you a technique it may help you, or it may even create more complications in your life, we will all have a different affinity towards different methods or ideas. All I want to say is that if you have this inner urge to seek reality, to seek your own truth, your true nature, then that is all that matters.
If you have this urge you will pave your own path, you will stop at nothing. Once you get a few glimpses of what’s possible, of pure bliss, there is no going back. Then you know that unless this permanent state of being is attained you will never truly be fulfilled no matter what you achieve in terms of worldly success.
From my interaction with others I can see that becoming more conscious is of no genuine concern for many, and without this urge you will not go into things deeply, you will not gain any real understanding. So becoming awake in this world is not for everyone, we are all on different journeys. Some people are truly ok just enjoying worldly pleasures.This however is not the case with me, my main concern is becoming more conscious and living a psychologically conflict free life.
Along the way practice what feels good, what feels right to you. Study any books that speak to you, meditate, study the nature of your mind, what is mind, what is thought, who are you, what are you?
I can now see why psychologically people have not really changed in thousands of years. It takes a tremendous amount of inner work and understanding, and if you are never even aware that there is a problem in the first place, you won’t start searching for a solution. Unfortunately many people know things are not right but we go on looking in the wrong places, and unless we change our being, change ourselves, no book or guru will be able to help.
How can something be of any use to someone who is asleep yet they believe they are awake?, it’s an interesting predicament we find ourselves in. People go on attending their weekend religious gatherings hoping that the word of god will give them salvation. Look at organized religion, in all of these thousands of years what has it accomplished? Has it removed conflict and ended sorrow in people’s lives? Has it changed the quality of people’s consciousness? Quite the contrary, it has created more problems and has internally and externally divided us all. The only religion is humanity and our only prayer is our breath.
I am not here to discuss religions or religious beliefs. We will accomplish nothing in arguing our religious points of view. I do feel that for many people religions can truly serve as a way to a deeper reality. Through someone’s genuine surrender, they can experience being egoless, but it was through their surrender that the divine happened in them, not the god or religion they where surrendering too.
We have become dependent on others to tell us what we need to do, its all we have known. We are asleep and live strictly in our minds of logic and reason and because of this try to reduce “god” to an object or idea. We have forgotten how to feel.
God is beyond comprehension yet we still try to know about god with our minds. Since to know about god is beyond our minds capacity, to know “god” is to go beyond mind. Your mind is the only barrier. Your mind is just an on going bundle of thoughts constantly changing, but what is the part of you that doesn’t change? It’s your silent witness, the very consciousness that observes all your thoughts.
What remains in a mind with no thoughts? Pure awareness, pure consciousness, this will reveal many things to you. This can only be understood it you go into it yourself. (Take god in whatever form works for you because after all whatever you can conceive is just a concept of your mind)
You only need someone to tell you what to do or what you need to know when you are unaware. Just wake up, realize no answers are outside of yourself, you are the world, so just go inside. Sure at first you won’t even know what that means, but just try it. You just need to try, try to understand who you are, what you are, in doing so you might catch a few glimpses of a deeper reality you where never aware of. Use whatever you can; read whatever you can, but then be ready to leave everything once you feel you can proceed all on your own. A life now built on your own experiences on your own understanding.
“All that is noble is in itself of a quiet nature, and appears to sleep until it is aroused and summoned forth by contrast.”- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life Is But a Dream
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer
The only reason you see and experience the world the way you do, is because of your minds conditioning. When you begin to de-condition, unburden, and work on yourself, the way the world looks and feels will also naturally change.
Life Is But A Dream: Just try this little experiment, for several months try and see the world as a dream. Drill it deeply in yourself that this material world is not really how it appears to be. Just like how in your dreams when you touch a wall it feels solid, but you know it’s not because it’s just a dream, bring that same attitude into your material life.
At first it will just feel like you are pretending, keep doing it, use your imagination, and really feel that this world is just like a constantly changing dream. If you continue, with time you will prove to yourself how powerful your mind is and how easily it can be conditioned to a new perspective. You will begin to feel how this world really isn’t as rigid and mechanical as you once experienced it. Instead of seeing things as matter you will see and feel them as consciousness, which is what they really are. If this sounds interesting to you, just try it, play with it, and let it become your own experience. This is simply an idea for you to create contrast in your life, to give a glimpse of other possibilities.
Please don’t listen to anything I have said, I am not claiming to know anything. In fact I know I know nothing. Just become a light unto yourself. I am just simply someone who is trying to live his life as intensely as possible and explore the mystery of existence through eyes of wonder. If you like, let’s explore and share together.
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